Backbiting about Spouses on Facebook
By Nancy Shehata
In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah
I have been seeing a disturbing trend lately of my dear sisters in Islam badmouthing their husbands on their status updates. Please, please, sisters, remember that Allah’s recording angels are making note of what you say and what you type. It is a major sin to reveal the secrets of your marriage and to gossip about your family life. This is a form of backbiting and not allowed in Islam. The best way to undo a sin is to repent from it and follow it up with a good deed, so I advise all my sisters to THINK about your husband and write a list of all his good qualities that you may be overlooking due to a moment of anger or frustration.
Every marriage has issues but Facebook is no place for airing these. If you think your husband is being unfair, or lazy, or is not helping you where you need help, don’t tell us, tell HIM.
If you are in an abusive situation, and sadly I know some sisters who are, I know it is hard to bite your tongue if you are not in a position to leave the abuse, but you have to be strong and spend your time asking Allah to help you and not castigating your husband in “public”. May Allah give you patience and make a way for you to be free of abuse if this is indeed your situation, and my prayers and du’as are with you.
Remember my sisters. No marriage is perfect. If he’s worth being married to, if he’s worth staying married to, do not air your grievances online. It is a sin and of no benefit to anyone. Do not be like the women who are mentioned in this hadith:
“Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 28 “
If you need to talk to someone, it can be done privately. Not everyone on your friends list is your friend, if you know what I mean, and what you say might get back to your spouse. That will only complicate your marriage. Fear Allah and bite your tongue if you have to, then find a time to talk to your husband when you are not angry to resolve the issue. Try to think of things from his point of view and recognize that he might be stressed and dealing with a lot of issues. Allah knows best.